Ephesians 5:21-33

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansingt her by the washing with water through the word,27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body.31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”t32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Notes:

God didn’t give us expectations and roles within marriage to squelch our freedom. He just wants us to know the way life works best. This passage about love, respect, and submission doesn’t always line up with contemporary thinking or modern practices, but we can be sure that the One who instituted marriage knows how to make it thrive. After you read this passage out loud together, talk about the part that is the most difficult for you to understand or to put into practice. Pray together that God will lead each of you to fill the role He has chosen for you in a way that brings glory to Him and honor to your spouse.

Colossians 3:1-19

1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.4 When Christ, who is yourt life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.t7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Instructions for Christian Households

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Notes:

Your old self won’t be nearly as good of a spouse as your new self. This passage challenges us to set aside the poor behaviors that always get in the way of a healthy marriage and put on the character of Christ. Although it makes it sound as easy as putting on a coat, read it aloud together and listen for that one sinful trait that is the hardest for you to get rid of and the one godly trait that is the hardest to clothe yourself in. Confess the ways you’ve failed to put on godly character and ask your spouse to forgive you. Pray together that God will give you the determination to put His character on again and again every day.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

1 If I speak in the tonguest of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,t but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Notes:

The word love is used in many different ways. But the One who is Love offers us a clear definition in His Word. This passage challenges us to love up to God’s standard–like we have been loved by Him. This is a tough list for us to live up to impossible really without God’s love flowing in and through us. After you read this passage aloud together, tell each other how you feel the most loved. Pray together that God will increase your capacity to love each other with His love.

Hebrews 13:1-8

1 Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.2 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.3 Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” 6 So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” 7 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Notes:

It’s understandable why we don’t think of our spouse as a brother or sister, but this passage, which includes a great verse about marriage, begins with reminding us all to love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. After reading the passage aloud together, talk about how the points it makes relate to your relationship. Talk about the ways that it can be easier to treat other Christian friends better than the ones under your own roof. Talk to God together about the example of Christ’s love that He intends your marriage to be. Ask Him to lead the two of you to be leaders that point to God’s unchanging love.

Proverbs 5

Warning Against Adultery

1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight,

2 that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge.

3 For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil;

4 but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword.

5 Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.

6 She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it.

7 Now then, my sons, listen to me; do not turn aside from what I say.

8 Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house,

9 lest you lose your honor to others and your dignityt to one who is cruel,

10 lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another.

11 At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent.

12 You will say, “How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction!

13 I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors.

14 And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God’s people.”

15 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.

16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares?

17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.

18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

20 Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?

21 For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths.

22 The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast.

23 For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly.

Notes:

Although this chapter discusses adultery, it also offers good advice about making your marriage the exciting and fulfilling relationship we dream it can and should be. After reading this passage aloud together, share what first attracted you to your spouse and what you still love about them today. Instead of discussing what your marriage isn’t, share stories about your courtship and reminisce about the highlights of your times together. And depending on where your walk down memory lane leads you, you may or may not end up praying this time.